Something in the Water
by Easily Distracted0720
Summary: In which there is something more to Makoto's fear than what his friends could only begin to imagine and the words "something in the water" takes a whole new meaning. (Merman!Makoto, future MakoHaruRin) CH3 edited and re-posted. Bumping up rating to M.
1. Chapter 1 - A Little Secret

**Summary:** In which there is something more to Makoto's fear than what his friends could only begin to imagine and the words "something in the water" takes a whole new meaning.

**Warnings: **Slash/ Yaoi, merman!Makoto

**Pairing/s: **Nagisa/Rei, established Haru/Rin and future Mako/Haru/Rin (OT3)

**Author's Note:** So I'm new to the Free! Fandom and I've fallen in love with Makoto the first time I saw him so this is mostly about him. This chapter is a prologue and comes after episode 6. It will probably not follow the succeeding episodes.

**Soundtrack:** Is it surprising that I was watching the Little Mermaid?

**PROLOGUE~**

Tachibana Nami sat by the open windows, warm sunlight and a gentle, ocean-scented breeze washing over her as she stared lifelessly outside, unaware of her husband's approach until he knelt by her feet and took her hands in his, looking up at her and willing her to turn to him.

"Nami, please don't do this to yourself. It's going to be all right, you'll see," he whispered pleadingly as he tightened his grasp on her hands. He paused as she flinched and her eyes began to well with tears, her bottom lip trembling as she bit it hard enough to break the skin. A lone tear fell down her cheek and he lifted his hand to cup her cheek and wipe it away with his thumb. "Maybe now is just not the right time."

"Then when?" she asked, her voice breaking and her shoulders shaking as she finally turned her face to his and the tears began to fall in earnest. "We've been trying so hard and the doctors said that I… that we…"

She couldn't begin to say it and she shut her eyes, shaking her head in denial. She began to sob and he took her in his arms, feeling her cries like a stab on his heart as he held her as tight as he could to offer her as much comfort as he could give.

He could feel the tears in his own eyes well up as she held onto him. He wanted the same thing she wanted, wanted it for the whole five years of their marriage. "Doctors," he started, swallowing the thick lump in his throat, "doctors aren't always right, love. Let's just take it easy then we'll try something else."

"You don't get it!" she cried out, pushing him away, her face a mask of sorrow and anger because it was unfair. It was so unfair that this had to happen to her. "You just don't get it," she whispered brokenly. "We can't have a baby, Yuuji. We'll never have a baby!"

She broke away from him and ran out and he could see her go towards the beach from the windows, her bare feet making deep imprints on the white sand. She disappeared beyond the large rocks and Yuuji knew to leave her alone for now.

**meru meru meru Page Break meru meru meru**

Nami ran as fast as her legs could carry her to the old cave past their house. She didn't mind the waves crashing on her legs, the way it soaked her dress and the ends of her shawl and almost made her fall. She didn't care about the little rocks and shells she stepped on, how it could have cut her feet. All that mattered was the deep, suffocating pain in her chest as she tried so hard to reconcile the fact that she would never have a child of her own.

They had been trying for the past five years. They were so eager, so excited to have a little one of their own to cherish and to love with all their hearts. They've tried everything within their means they could think of to have a baby but nothing worked and she was just so tired, so frustrated with herself and she couldn't take it anymore. It broke her spirit each time they tried and failed.

Breathing hard and fast, her heart hammering in her chest and her blood pounding in her ears, she reached her cave. In this cave she spent most of her childhood with her grandfather who told her stories about the sea, of its mysteries, its dangers. This place was something familiar, something soothing. It would not make her accept how her life would be immediately or extensively, but it was a start.

Carefully she walked in. The mouth of the cave faced the sea, with a splatter of rocks of varying sizes, rounded and smooth from the constant crashing of waves. The tide had waned enough that the water level barely reached her knees and lightly touched the hem of her dress. Thin beams of sunlight fell from the ceiling and touched the water, reflecting constantly moving webs of light on the ceiling.

It was and had always been her sanctuary since she was a little girl. This cave was witness to every joyful memory and every sorrowful heartbreak she experienced. It knew her secrets like a friend. It was weird to some but it always felt as if her grandfather's spirit lived there, offering her comfort through the sounds of the waves and the rush of wind.

She sat down on one of the smooth rocks, feet dangling in the water as she took a deep breath. Looking out through the mouth of the cave, she felt the guilt roil inside her, ugly and suffocating. She shouldn't have blown up at Yuuji, shouldn't have taken out her frustration and her anger at him when she knew he was suffering just as much as her.

She had to apologize to him but she'd do it once she leaves the cave. She just needed a little time to herself to begin coming to terms with what could never be. So she might never have children of her own, but they could always adopt, couldn't they?It might take a while – an adoption was often a very long process and very seldom do parents get approved for them but they were willing to wait. They already have for five years.

She paused in thought, looking around her. She thought she heard something.

A little whimper and the sound of crying had her instantly on her feet, her heart pounding as she realized that she wasn't alone. She began to search around the rocks and found the source of the sounds, the cries tugging at her heart as she instantly melted, falling to her knees to take the squalling infant in her arms.

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"Yuuji! _Yuuji!_ Yuuji, _look_!" The glee in Nami's voice, the tears within her giggles as she called out to him made him run to the front of the house where he saw her holding a small bundle. There was a light in her eyes that he had not seen for a very long time and it made him want to smile and laugh with her. "Yuuji, look at who I found! Just look at him!"

That statement caused him to pause and his eyes fell again on the bundle that just _moved_. "Nami? What… what is that?"

"Not what, Yuuji, _who_!" she said and Yuuji wanted to think that his wife had not lost her mind in the space of an hour since her departure. "Come and see! I found him in the cave! The poor thing was left there on his own."

He slowly, almost cautiously, went closer and when Nami realized that he was taking too long, she went to him and showed her what she held. There it – no, _he_ – was. A healthy-looking, little baby boy, sleeping peacefully in his wife's arms liked he was born to be there. Tufts of hair in an unusual shade of green and brown stood in all directions on his head, his forehead scrunched up as if he was thinking about something in his sleep.

Yuuji couldn't help but touch the little one's forehead, falling hopelessly in love with a baby that was not his flesh and blood as his forehead smoothed out and he let out a breathy little sigh. He didn't know if this was because he'd been yearning for a baby himself but it was almost impossible to draw himself away especially when the little one opened one bleary little eye and it was the most remarkable shade of green he'd ever seen.

"Isn't he beautiful?" Nami asked though she knew perfectly well what his answer would be.

Yuuji tried to clear his thoughts because as much as they were quickly growing to adore this baby, it was not theirs and he could have parents who were looking for him. For some reason, he felt his heart break at that thought. "Where did you say you found him?" he asked.

"In the cave and he was all alone, Yuuji," she said gravely, anger in her eyes. "Somebody left him there and I don't know if it's on purpose because the town knows how high the water goes in that cave. If I hadn't been there, the tide would have set in and no one would know he was there. He could have drowned."

Terror filled her now that she thought about it and fury immediately set in as soon as she realized that someone had _left a baby there on purpose_. Didn't they know how lucky they were?

"I know what you're thinking but we can't keep him, Nami," her husband murmured softly, slmost reluctantly. "He probably has his parents looking for him."

"How – How could you even think about returning him?! They left him in a cave, Yuuji! Where he could have died!"

Yuuji shook his head sadly. "We don't know that. We can't deprive him of his real parents."

Her shoulders drooped and she hung her head, looking at the baby who started to fuss with all the noise. With a new batch of tears welling in her eyes, she began to hum a lullaby, gently swaying as her voice breaks with the effort not to cry.

**meru meru meru Page Break meru meru meru**

It was the most stressful and gruelling three years but they were time well spent as the day finally came. After a very long process, Tachibana Yuuji and Tachibana Nami were finally the proud parents of little Makoto and would finally take him home.

**Fourteen years later...**

"Tadaima," Makoto greeted as he opened the front door, bracing himself as his younger siblings tackled and climbed all over him, squealing and laughing as they bombarded him with questions, Ran draped over his back and Ren dangling around his neck.

He smiled as he answered their questions patiently, stopping only when their mother playfully scolded them to let their brother rest before interrogating him. They pouted as they let him go and he had to promise to tell them what happened before they went to bed tonight. With beaming smiles, they skipped over to the kitchen to see what their mother was cooking.

He put his things by the door, promising to take care of them later and sat down at the table. He took a deep breath and leaned his head back, closing his eyes as he welcomed the exhaustion and the sense of familiarity. The sound of his mother puttering about the house, the twins running around and bickering, his father's laughter seemed to wash over him and made the events in the training camp seem like a dream. He was finally home.

"Come on, you two, time to buy something special for dessert now that nii-chan is back," he heard his father say followed by twin yells of "ice cream!" and "cake!". A loud pair of footsteps dashed around him followed by another scolding and his father chuckled as he followed the twins at a more sedate pace.

Ah, silence. He loved his siblings to bits but sometimes, they were just so energetic that he couldn't keep up with them anymore.

"Makoto-chan, you have the tub for yourself tonight. So go and have a little dip while Ren and Ran are away," his mother said as soon as his father drove out of sight, reaching down to pat his cheek. "Your father won't be home for a while so I'll bring you a little snack in a bit."

He smiled at her before pulling himself up to go upstairs to the bathroom. The tub was a lot bigger than the one in Haru's house, easily fitting someone with Makoto's height and build. It wasn't easy to look for a house with this kind of tub and it was precisely the reason why his parents chose to buy this house in the first place. It was already filled with water and he could see Haru in his mind's eye diving straight into it. He had nearly done the same, too, the last time he slept over and Makoto had to hold him before he bashed his head at the bottom of the tub.

He took his clothes off and folded them neatly, placing them in the laundry hamper. With a little more eagerness than he'd care to admit, he went into the tub, sloshing a bit of the water to the tiled floor. He sat down and leaned back until he was up to his neck in water, sighing in relief. He felt the tension in his shoulders melt away as he submerges himself fully, keeping himself underwater till his lungs ached for air, forcing the change.

He felt the throb at his sides, the burn as skin split, three diagonal slashes along his ribs that didn't bleed but expanded as water passed in and out. After the initial burn, everything else came crashing down, like a band-aid that was ripped off a wound. The dull, familiar pain of scales pushing through skin, of muscles melding and of bones rearranging themselves – it was a pain that he had long grown used to.

He opened his eyes and looked down, to where there was a single, thick tail covered in green scales, lighter along his hips and growing darker down its length, a smattering of black splotches here and there. His tailfin was a translucent green, unfurled and seemingly delicate, gently swaying in the water and brushing near the surface.

Not for the first time, he considered sneaking into the pool at school just so he could stretch his tail out and swim properly but there was just too much risk of getting caught. One of these days maybe, he thought.

When he looked up, he could see his mother's face, smiling down at him, urging him to sit up as she sat down at the edge of the tub with a small tray in her lap. On the tray was a little bowl of fruit and a glass of water.

"How was your trip?" she asked as she speared a chunk of apple with his fork, handing it to him. She didn't flinch as his fingers closed on the fork, not minding the dusting of green scales along his hand and the green webbing between his fingers.

Lots of things happened during the trip and he didn't know where to start. He wanted to avoid talking about it all if he was honest but his mother had a way of making him talk wthout even trying.

"Makoto-chan, is there something wrong?"

The storm played in his mind. Of Rei struggling on the water's surface as waves tumbled over him and pushed him down until he was gone. The sky had been dark, the rain pelted his face mercilessly, the waves pushing and pulling him as he struggled to get to him. His sides burned, his legs tingled, the closeness of water was a test of his control. He wanted to change form, it would make rescuing Rei so much easier but he couldn't because suddenly she was there.

She had been floating right behind Rei before he disappeared, almost completely submerged until only her eyes, a bright, glowing green, and the top of her head were visible. She had been staring right at him, staring into his eyes and rendering him almost paralyzed in fear.

She was the one he'd seen that day when the storm came and killed everyone in that boat.

**meru meru meru Page Break meru meru meru**

**Author's Note:** Okay, that's done. I've always had a fascination for merfolk and while I understand that in Free! The usual choice as our merman could be Haru or Rin, well, I wanted something different.

Questions and comments are welcome. :)


	2. Chapter 2 - Realized Fears

**Summary:** In which there is something more to Makoto's fear than what his friends could only begin to imagine and the words "something in the water" takes a whole new meaning.

**Warnings: **Slash/ Yaoi, merman!Makoto

**Pairing/s: **Nagisa/Rei, established Haru/Rin and future Mako/Haru (I know I initially wrote Mako/Haru/Rin but now I am not totally sure. Not set in stone, though.)

**Author's Note:** So, as I said before, this story may not be canon-compliant, considering that there will be a timeskip of more than a few years – I'm not sure about the definite number but… well, you'll see.

Hope you like it!

**meru meru meru Page Break meru meru meru**

_Once when Makoto was four years old, he had nearly been swept away to the ocean. It was the single, most frightening moment in Nami's life as she looked out the window, watching Makoto play in the sand one second then see him waist-deep in water the next, being led away by a strange woman. He was too young to understand things then and Nami doubted he remembered what happened that day but he had happily followed the stranger – a normal woman as far as her eyes could see – into the water, giggling as he tried to make a grab at her long hair and her milky white hand, her eyes barely visible above water. Nami had never thought she could run so fast in her life, screaming Makoto's name as she very nearly flew to the beach if she could, the blood pounding in her ears. She stumbled in the water as the woman grabbed her son's wrist as soon as she saw her coming, tugging him into the open sea._

_She leaped at him in time, catching him by the waist into her arms and pulling until they both stumbled back into the water. She kicked her feet in the wet sand, putting as much distance between her and her son and the stranger until they reached the shore. The woman rose from the water high enough for Nami to see the patches of shining, green scales around her waist and down her hips. Her face was a mask of fury as she let out an unearthly wail, her hair, wet and dark green, clinging to her body in tangled waves._

_She had shut her eyes at the sudden onslaught of sound, tightening her grasp on Makoto despite feeling her ears almost burst. When she looked at Makoto, he didn't look affected by it like her but he was definitely surprised, bursting into a sob as he buried his face on her chest._

_The woman – mermaid, her mind registered briefly – advanced forward and Nami had thought the creature – because it was clear that she was not human but she was not willing to admit it yet despite the evidence in front of her – was going to attack but she had stopped abruptly as soon as she heard Makoto cry, her green eyes wide. Her fist curled in front of her chest and she looked at Makoto as if he had struck her himself. Uncertainty lingered in her eyes and Nami thought they were a beautiful, almost luminous green before she turned away and disappeared into the water with a slap of green fins on the water's surface._

_Nami hadn't realized that she had been holding her breath until her lungs began to burn and she eased air from her lips and breathed in as the tension loosened from her shoulders, suddenly feeling exhausted. She turned to her son who was still sobbing and began to fuss over him, looking over him to see if he was alright, despite being wet and frightened._

_"Makoto-chan," she called softly and he turned to her, tiny, hiccups rocking his slender frame as he wiped the tears in his eyes with his knuckles. He looked up at her, his eyes still blurred with tears and she tried to smile reassuringly at him as she wiped them off his cheeks with the pads of her thumbs. She began to coo at him when his cries would not subside, whispering to him that it was alright as she looked him in the eyes._

_A thought had struck her then as she looked at her son's tear strained face to the spot the woman – mermaid, her mind insistently supplied – had been and back again before she shook her head in denial. It just couldn't be… could it?_

_She hadn't told Yuuji what happened that day because she knew he would never believe her. Instead, she cited other logicalreasons to leave the house she had grown up in. And after much persuasion, he agreed to move their family out of the house by the beach. She had not told Yuuji what she suspected about their son (not that she needed to when Makoto turned twelve years old) and pushed it to the back of her mind burying the feeling of guilt that had begun to build in her. They had sold the house several months later and bought a new one that was closer to town._

Looking back, Nami should have known but something as fantastical as the existence of mermaids (even now, she felt ridiculous just thinking about it) could not be reconciled in her mind but here was the proof right in front of her, in the guise of the boy she had lovingly raised as her son, sitting thoughtfully in a bathtub with a faraway look in his eyes that always came over him when the mermaid was involved. The guilt remained in her even after thirteen years had passed, a dull pang that she couldn't set aside, and she felt that it was partly her fault why Makoto was so afraid of the ocean and, by extension, his biological mother. She truly wanted to put things to right between them.

When he'd come home today, he looked happy but exhausted and there was a darkness in his eyes that she and her husband noticed the moment he walked through the door. At times like these, Yuuji would drive the twins out for some needed peace and quiet – Ren and Ran were too rambunctious and they didn't know this about their onii-chan – while Nami would take care of Makoto and find out what was troubling him so they could talk about it later. Makoto had always been a very open boy and he was incapable of hiding anything. He was just too expressive that it was not hard to figure out if something was bothering him – that and they were his parents which made them twice as sensitive to their son's distress. It was just a matter of waiting for him to say something.

So she waited, watching him as he he held the fork with the apple frozen halfway to his mouth as he gathered his thoughts.

He took a deep breath. "I saw her, Kaa-chan." Nami was unsurprised by this, of course, and waited as he bit into his apple, chewing thoughtfully. "It was already late and there was a storm. Rei was caught in it while he was swimming."

"Ryugazaki-kun? Why was he _swimming alone outside_?" Fear for his friend seized her. "Is he alright?"

"He's fine. Rei... Rei is a perfectionist," Makoto started fondly. "He wanted to catch up with the three of us as soon as he could so he practices twice as much. He probably would have been fine if the storm didn't come. It was so unexpected.

"Nagisa saved him," he said with a smile and a deprecating laugh at himself. It was a horrible sound in Nami's ears. "I was the first one there, Kaa-chan, and I wanted to save him but I couldn't. I was too scared. When I saw her, I just froze and I couldn't... I couldn't do anything," he paused, swallowing. "I couldn't help it, Kaa-chan. I wanted to save Rei but the moment I saw her, I was paralyzed. I know you said she means no harm but I just keep seeing her face and that boat and that storm all over again.

"When I saw her, she was behind Rei and I keep on thinking that the ocean will steal someone I cared for again. I was going to lose him. If it weren't for Haru and Nagisa, Rei would have...," he choked, unable to say the word, "and I would never forgive myself."

There was silence and Nami tried to find the words to comfort her son. So, instead of saying anything, she lowered the tray to the floor and knelt by the edge of the tub, pulling him in her arms and giving him a comforting squeeze.

"None of that was your fault, Makoto-chan. What's important is that Ryugazaki-kun is alright and you're alright," she murmured in his hair as she kissed his temple. "What's important is that all of you are home, safe and sound." Makoto took a shaky breath and relaxed in her arms. "I know you fear the ocean, Makoto-chan but she... she would never hurt you or your friends. She only wants to meet you, to know you." He became rigid again but Nami plowed on because she had to make him understand that the ocean and the mermaid were two different things altogether and it broke her heart whenever the mermaid would look at Makoto's pictures as if they were gifts from the gods. "Makoto-chan, please give her a chance. Maybe meeting her and spending time with her will ease your fear of the ocean."

"But... what if she takes me away?" Makoto asked, his voice small and frightened – so much like the little boy who came to his parents' bedroom because he was afraid of loud noises and ghosts and monsters under the bed. "What if she doesn't let me go home?"

"She won't take you away if that's not what you want," Nami answered strongly, reassuring him. She pulled away from him and cupped his cheeks in her hands, careful not to scrape any of the scales dotting his cheeks. "All mothers want to make their children happy, Makoto-chan. That includes her."

Makoto didn't answer but she knew he was thinking about it. That was all she wanted for now anyway. His fear of the ocean had only escalated the moment he began to find out what he was and the mystery surrounding his kind. She blamed the internet and the books, really. It planted so many ideas in his head (summoning storms, bad omens and luring sailors to their deaths to name a few) that she made it a point to tell him that no one could really know these things.

"I don't think I could do it right now... but maybe someday?" Makoto ventured hesitantly, looking up at her through the mermaid's eyes. It was always his answer to this conversation but Nami knew they had to be patient.

"That's all we want," Nami answered softly, letting him go and taking the tray again, handing Makoto the bowl of fruit. "Here, you eat this and just relax. I'll finish up downstairs, alright?"

Makoto nodded, smiling slightly.

Before she left, Nami planted a kiss on his forehead. "I'm very proud of you, Makoto-chan."

Makoto sank down into the tub as soon as the door closed behind her. He closed his eyes and thought back to the last couple of days. He didn't really feel like he did anything to be proud of. His fear, he knew, was irrational. The old man, Rin and Gou-chan's father, the fishermen in that boat, his fish... he'd thought about it long and hard. He knew that a number of things could have caused the accident. The storm, the boat itself... it was not necessarily the ocean's fault but he just couldn't help himself. He feared what the ocean was capable of. He feared the ocean's strength, how it could take away people he cared about so suddenly, how it overwhelmed you with hopelessness and despair as it dragged you further down to its depths until there was nothingness. He feared that feeling of being trapped, of grasping for breath, of struggling against the weightlessness and not really going anywhere.

When he saw Rei struggling, he had made the decision to change form. He hadn't cared if any of his friends found out because all he wanted was to save Rei and he was about to do it when he saw him swallowed by the waves and she was there, a small distance away, illuminated by the flash of lightning. It brought back the memories from before. The storm of that weekend felt like that storm from years ago and had every muscle in his body seize and spasm that even he was dragged underwater, unable to open his gills, to breathe until Haru saved him and took him back to shore.

The fear was debilitating and it was ingrained too deep that he doubted that he'd be rid of it altogether but his mother did have a point and Makoto knew that he had to move forward, too, for himself. Maybe... just maybe... learning about her and, in turn, learning about himself would make it just a bit easier.

The next several days had been dedicated to the preliminaries that Makoto didn't have any time to think about anything else but making sure he's in top form during the competition. There had been a time that he'd been worried about Haru and his loss against Rin but he knew he was going to be alright now and the match with Rin sparked something in him that had been missing for years since Rin went to Australia.

He was glad. It was great to see the fire in Haru's eyes again and he hoped that this time, he would find what it was he was looking for when he was swimming. And Rin… he worried constantly about Rin and hoped that he didn't lose sight of what was important. He knew only Haru could show him something beyond breaking records and winning trophies. He'd had it before, after all, back when they had been younger and Rin's smiles were wide and carefree. He just had to find it in himself again.

A familiar pang throbbed in his chest and he smiled sadly. Those two… those two needed each other and while he cared very much for them both and loved one of them in every sense of the word, really, they had something that was all their own and he didn't want to intrude on that. Above all else, he wanted them to be happy and it felt as if they would find the greatest happiness with each other. Haru might just be the balancing calm to Rin's intensity and Rin would be Haru's motivation. They fitted well enough that it left no room for anyone else and he understood that. He would be happy just being by their sides and supporting them as much as he can.

Still, he couldn't stop the way his heart broke just a little bit no matter how much he had already told himself that Haru would never look at him the way he wanted.

"Makoto-senpai?" Rei's voice called from somewhere far away and he realized that he'd been calling his name for a while now.

He looked worried and so did Nagisa and Gou-chan who were standing behind him, already dressed after a grueling day of practice for Regionals. Haru was still floating in the pool but he could feel Haru looking his way and he shuddered.

"Ah, I'm sorry... I drifted off a little there," he said with an apologetic chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

"Mako-chan, are you alright?" Nagisa asked earnestly., brows furrowed as he skipped in front of Makoto and laid a hand on his forehead. "You've been distracted lately. Are you sick?"

"I'm fine. Just have some things in my mind, that's all," he reassured them, smiling widely. Though he had more than a lot on his plate including his imminent meeting with his biological mother, he couldn't help but feel bad for making them worry for him.

Nagisa didn't look convinced and Makoto was not surprised. Out of all of them, Nagisa was the most shrewd and he wouldn't be able to hide anything from him if Nagisa wanted to find out what's been bothering him. Sure enough, he opened his mouth to prod a little more but Rei, sensitive and well-mannered to a fault, clapped a hand over his mouth.

"If Makoto-sempai doesn't want to talk about it, then we shouldn't pry," he reprimanded, winding an arm around Nagisa's waist and dragging him off, the smaller boy protesting the whole way. Rei turned to them all and said, "we'll see you tomorrow," just as Nagisa let himself free from Rei's hand and shouted his goodbyes.

"I'll be off, too," Gou added as she watched Rei and Nagisa disappear, giggling a little as the pair started an argument as they left. "See you tomorrow, Haru-senpai, Makoto-senpai." She bowed and ran off with a beaming smile.

Makoto waved until she was gone and turned to Haru who had just pulled himself up and off the pool. As always, he loved to watch Haru, to admire how at home he was in water, completely entranced as the sunlight glinted off of Haru's wet, dark hair and bare chest, water sluicing down his legs. He shook his head, sending droplets of water splashing everywhere and Makoto smiled, approaching him with fluffy towel.

"Makoto," Haru called and Makoto smiled at him reassuringly.

"I'm fine, Haru, don't worry," he insisted and he allowed himself to be happy just a tiny bit because Haru was worried about him.

"Hn," he grunted at him quietly. "I'm taking a shower now."

"Alright. I'll wait for you," Makoto with a gentle smile though he really didn't have to say it because that had always been their routine.

He played with his phone to pass the time and by the time Haru came out, dressed up and ready to go, his mother had insisted that Haru join them for dinner which Haru agreed to with a slight nod.

What Makoto didn't know was that, following Regionals, he and Haru would drift apart in the next few years until they barely knew each other.

**TBC...**

**Author's Note:** So... I am still in the plotting stage of this story and I don't really know where I'm going but I might change things here and there but you wouldn't really feel it. I'm still trying to find a good focus on this story and I'm open to suggestions or comments about it. Right now, I am just letting it write itself.

Hopefully, it doesn't seem OOC.

Reviews and comments are appreciated as usual and thanks to everyone who reviewed!


	3. Chapter 3 - Now or Never

**Author's Note: **A bit of HaruRin angst at the beginning (not very good at those but hey, I tried). Might be OOC but let us assume that they have changed a little bit after almost ten years.

Sorry for the wait.

**Pairing/s: **Established HaruRin, Future MakoHaruRin

**Warning/s: **Yaoi, OOC!Haru talking about his feelings, Timeskip

**meru meru meru Page Break meru meru meru**

**CHAPTER 3: Now or Never**

It was a nice Friday morning and Rin was stuck in his and Haru's apartment cleaning up while the brunette was out getting a few lazy laps around the pool on their supposed day off from training with the national team. Usually, Rin would be right along with him, doing a few laps, probably have a race or two or get a little adventurous in the locker room but the redhead decided to stay home this time.

Of course, cleaning the apartment was just an excuse. Neither of them were slobs despite Haru's annoying habit of leaving the toothpaste on the sink, squeezed right in the middle, when it should be in the medicine cabinet and squeezed neatly from the bottom.

The real reason why he stayed behind was in his and Haru's office. He took a deep breath and opened the door. Their office, which was converted from a second bedroom they didn't need, was brightly lit from the streaming sunlight between the blinds. The walls were white and were full of framed photos of family and friends and there were even framed news clippings and medals here and there. The floor was solid wood, varnished a deep golden brown that he and Haru would painstakingly polish every week. Their desks were standing side by side opposite the door, the desktop computer and the trophy case were off on Rin's side of the room while the bookcase and the display case for various knickknacks they collected over the years were on Haru's. There was a small sofa in the middle of the room and a low coffee table facing the flatscreen tv and DVD/Bluray player propped on the wall.

Rin crossed the room to get to Haru's desk. Where his was, well, not really neat but close enough, Haru's was overflowing with magazines. These were some of the latest batch of Haru's finds from his detour over at the secondhand bookstore down the street. He sighed as he stacked the mostly unused magazines that was all over Haru's desk, brightly colored and glossy pages filled with delectable desserts and savory dishes, almost too beautiful to eat. He picked one of the more recent ones, the one with a three-page spread of an upcoming chef who just came back from a successful apprenticeship with renowned French chef, Joel Robuchon.

"An angel" he was called.

He stared at the very familiar face, from the tousled, olive-green hair to those endearingly droopy, green eyes and that Buddha-like smile. He looked exactly the same except for the wrinkles that had begun to form at the corner of his eyes from age and Rin figured with a tiny smile: too much smiling. He was standing with his arms crossed over his chest, wearing the requisite white coat, and beside him was a table laden with food.

This was only one of several shots of Makoto that Haru had collected over the years and there were some interviews that he had read over and over again and Rin wouldn't be surprised if he had it all memorized by now. He had watched Haru stroll down the magazine aisles, scanning the titles and the covers for any information about Makoto that he could find, recording the recent interview with Makoto on TV and playing it over and over again. Haru did try to hide it from him once (though he already knew it by then) but the fact that he had gotten a stack of magazines and their electricity bill for that month was higher than normal had been difficult to hide. Now, it was kind of the secret that everyone knew about but didn't acknowledge. Rin tried to get him to talk about it (boy, did he try) but Haru was just too stubborn that he had clammed up and didn't tak to Rin for days.

When the subject did come up, Haru would brush it off, stating that Rin was the one he chose and he was happy – end of discussion (not something Rin was happy about, really, but it was hard to reason with Haru when he got like that). Tempers would rise because Rin was not going to back down and then they'd end up fighting. What would follow was about a week of reaffirming their relationship where Haru would reassure Rin that what he said was true.

Nothing would be said of Makoto after that.

It was, in Rin's opinion, a sweet yet unnecessary show of loyalty for him.

Sweet because, hey, his boyfriend was basically telling him that he's the only one for him. Unnecessary because Rin was as sure as the sky was blue that Haru was in love with Makoto even after nine years of being apart.

Did it make him feel bad? At first, yeah, just a little. Okay, more than a little. He had been devastated and there was a point in their lives that he considered leaving Haru. Now? Not so much. Before, it was a painful blow to find out that he was not the only one in Haru's heart (water didn't count) but Haru had proven time and again that he loved Rin just as much that he willingly tried to forget about his feelings for Makoto and distanced himself (with decreasing success) no matter how much it hurt him to do so. Rin had to admit that he hadn't really made it any easier on him at the time but that was because they were younger and Rin loved Haru so much that he wanted to keep him to himself.

Now, it was because of that love for him that Rin even entertained this crazy idea in the first place. It wasn't easy to accept and he didn't make this decision lightly but he figured that he wanted Haru to be happy (really happy) and if that meant sharing him with Makoto, then so be it. There were a heck of a lot of worse people in the world Haru could fall in love with and Makoto was as close to a saint anyone had any right to be besides being one of Rin's closest friends (even with the past nine years of no communication between them).

Of course, this didn't mean that the past nine years they shared were miserable. It was hardly that and they were as happy as they could be together. There was just this sense that something was missing. Haru was just too stubborn to admit it, though, so he wouldn't be surprised if he shuts himself away from Rin again which was why there was no going back once he'd decided to do this. Rin knew this was for Haru's own good and he was sick and tired of the pining and the dozens of food magazines Haru collected over the past few years that were mostly unread except for a few pages of Makoto and mackerel recipes.

It was nine years late but it was time to stage an intervention. Haru would never see this coming.

It was suspiciously quiet when Haru got home from the gym. He was early; it was around six o'clock in the evening when he usually finished training (swimming laps in the pool counted no matter what Rin said) around eight because Rin said he had something important to talk about and Haru had better come home. His hair was still a little wet from the quick shower he took and he was wearing an old, orange shirt that seemed far too big for his slimmer frame and an old pair of shorts, his sports bag slung over his shoulder.

He found it odd that he was alone and no Rin welcoming him back. Haru was not one for announcing his presence but he did send a text to Rin and the redhead would usually be waiting for him to arrive. It was one of those things that he looked forward to everyday.

"Rin?" he called out, dropping his bag with a good thump on the floor. He took his shoes off and wandered into their apartment, looking around. Hearing no response, he decided to try for their bedroom and sure enough, Rin was sitting on the bed, his back leaning on the headboard and his knees drawn up. There was a book, no, a magazine on his knees. He looked a little caught up with what he was reading, his red hair tied back with one of Gou's old hair ties and his eyes (and his complete attention) focused on whatever it was about.

Haru shook his head slightly. Rin was extremely hard to talk to when he was reading. It was like he wasn't there anymore.

He and Makoto were similar like that, his brain thought unwittingly before he could stop it and he felt the old, familiar throb in his chest. He gave himself a mental shake.

'I'm with Rin now and I'm happy with him. There's no point in thinking about him,' he chanted to himself but the longer time passed, the harder it was for him to believe it himself.

He tried to take his mind off of... him and took a look around. Everything looked as it should be and despite the urgency in Rin's message, it didn't look like anything important was happening. It was then that he noticed that there were several magazines laid out on their bed, magazines that Haru had collected and treasured. They were open, very familiar pages still visible from where he was standing.

He felt a lurch of dread.

"Oh, hey, you're home," Rin said as he noticed Haru standing by the door. "I didn't hear you come in."

He patted the spot beside him and Haru made his way to him and plopped at his side. He didn't say anything but Rin knew he was freaking out.

"Haru, we need to talk and you are going to listen to me and you are going to answer me honestly, okay?" he said slowly, cautiously. Haru tensed, his jaw hardening stubbornly. Rin knew that look very well. He wound an arm around Haru's waist, pulling him closer and there was some resistance but Haru allowed himself to be pulled and Rin thought that was a good sign that he wasn't going to bolt anytime soon. He kissed the side of Haru's neck. "Just hear me out, okay? I don't wanna fight."

Haru tensed again. Apparently that was the wrong thing to say. "Then why do you keep bringing this up?"

"This? Or do you mean Makoto?" Rin asked, his brow raised.

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Yes, there is," Rin insisted gently. "Haru, I know, okay? You've been hiding this from me for nine years and honestly, I want to let it go but not when you're hurting yourself like this." He shifted, turning Haru to face him but Haru wouldn't look at him at all. "You keep telling me there's nothing to talk about but you buy all his magazines, you record his interviews, you research which restaurants he worked at. You think I don't notice?

"How can I move on if you can't?" Silence. Exactly what Rin expected but it still worked in his favor. It meant that Haru was still listening. "Look, I just want you to be happy. If Makoto does, then who am to stand in the middle of that?"

Haru's gaze swiveled to him, eyes wide and panicked. "Are you... breaking up with me?"

Now it was Rin's turn to be surprised. "What?! Hell, no! I'm not breaking up with you!" He knocked his head on the headboard, groaning. "I am not good at this," he muttered to himself before turning to Haru again. "What I'm trying to say is... I'm not against sharing you." Haru's eyes widened further. His jaw hadn't dropped yet which probably meant he was still in there. "I mean, I know you love me and I also know you love Makoto and I'm not opposed to him – but just him, okay? No one else."

Haru could only stare at Rin, speechless, though his heart began to pound in his chest. There was a bit of hope budding in him that he didn't want because Rin probably didn't think about this enough. He couldn't possibly understand what he was telling Haru. Haru had visualized it on numerous occasions and not one of them ended good. Rin was too possessive a lover.

Still, it sounded too good. Rin couldn't possibly understand how it felt to be torn this way for years.

The thing was he loved both of them: equally and intensely that he often felt that his heart was going to burst. Makoto was his rock; the one person he knew who understood him from the inside out, the one person who would pull him up when things get too much, the one person who would tell him everything will be all right and make it so. Rin was his fire; the one who pushes him to go beyond his abilities, the one who makes him see things he'd never seen before, the one who gives him courage to try something new.

Makoto was home – safe and warm. Rin was adventure – unknown and thrilling. He loved and needed Rin but that never stopped him from loving and needing Makoto and neither of them could fill each other's place in his heart.

It was selfish of him but that was how he felt and Rin was presenting him with something that he'd thought was impossible.

"Haru, say something."

"You don't know what you're talking about," Haru stated before he could stop himself. He desperately wanted to believe it, really, but he couldn't when it could just as easily be taken away.

And what of Makoto and Rin? Wouldn't it be awkward?

Rin glared at him. "Yes, I do. I've thought about it for a long time – about nine years in the making, to be exact."

"Are you sure you?" Haru asked. "I don't want you to do anything for me if it's going to hurt you."

"Don't underestimate me. I don't make decisions like this everyday, Nanase, and certainly not for just anybody," Rin assured him. "Makoto is a good man and we'll deal with each other if that's what you're worried about."

"Assuming that he agrees," Haru added. "What if he doesn't feel the same way?"

Rin scoffed. "Please. The guy worships the ground you step on."

"It's been almost ten years, Rin."

"We'll think of a gameplan," Rin said encouragingly. "We'll just have to take it one step at a time. It's not like you have any choice in the matter anyway. I already asked Coach to give us three days off and I asked the cleaning lady to clean your house up. We're going back to Iwatobi next week."

**One week later...**

"Alright, everyone, our last ticket for the night," Makoto announced, earning a jovial cheer from his team as he waved a piece of paper in his hand. He announced the dishes on the ticket for a family of four and before long, steaming plates and bowls were carried out (with his approval) by the waiters into the dining area.

As soon as the desserts left the kitchen (two slices of chocolate cheesecake with a drizzle of blueberry syrup and fresh blueberries for the kids and spicy hot chocolate for their parents), Makoto felt his shoulders slump in relief, exhausted but satisfied of another good day without any mishaps in the dining area (the kitchen was a totally different story) and compliments from the guests. It was a Friday, the busiest night of his week (he had negotiated weekends off to spend it with his family) and he was looking forward to staying at home, sleeping in for a couple of hours and doing whatever he wanted for the next two days.

It was already past eleven o'clock at night and the restaurant was finally closing after the headwaiter announced that the last guests had finally left the building. Both wait staff and kitchen staff were already busily cleaning up their respective areas. Makoto had already finished up cleaning his space and was helping one of his assistants return some of their ingredients back in the freezer when the doors to the kitchen burst open with two simultaneous slams on the walls, making everyone flinch.

"Good work today, everybody," announced the owner of the restaurant as he stepped inside the kitchen, laughing a little as one of the wait staff jokingly replied to him about the cracks he made on the walls, before he approached Makoto and clapped a heavy hand on his shoulder. "Good job as always, Chef. Keep up the good work."

Makoto beamed at him, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. "Thank you, Mikoshiba-san, and I will."

Mikoshiba Seijuuro, former captain of Samezuka swim team and retired member of Japan's National Swim team, rolled his eyes playfully at his fellow former captain and slapped him on the back. "Again with the formality, Makoto?"

Bright, golden eyes twinkled mischievously just like it did two years ago when they literally bumped into each other, one rainy day in Tokyo as if Fate wanted them to meet.

"You started it," Makoto replied with a teasing smile, "calling me Chef and all."

Mikoshiba laughed. "Yeah, I guess I did. You never let things get past you, huh? Not as bad as Aiichi though, which is a good thing 'cause that kid is driving me nuts. If there were two of him…" The redhead paused to think and promptly shuddered. "Yeah, that is just horrible."

"Well, he has good reason to," Makoto replied wryly with a shake of his head. "You drove him crazy every day the last couple of weeks."

And wasn't that a big mess? Makoto had happily refrained from getting in the middle of that and the rest of the staff wisely followed his lead. At last week's staff meeting, Mikoshiba had wanted to add new items on their menu that included beluga caviar, blowfish and Alba white truffles in addition to the Wagyu steak cuts that they regularly stocked the restaurant with – simply because he saw them on the internet's list of the most expensive food ingredients. Nitori had shot him down quickly – especially when he was about to start going into Yubari melons – again.

"It wasn't a bad idea though, right?" Mikoshiba asked expectantly.

"Well, no, it's a good idea but Nitori-kun is right that we can't afford them right now."

Blaze Grill and Restaurant was a cozy restaurant serving French and Japanese fusion cuisine. It nestled quite comfortably in Shinjuku (right across the street from Shinjuku National Garden) and only two years old but it was already getting great reviews from critics, food magazines and recently, a TV show. It had both an indoor and outdoor dining area, very spacious and perfect especially in spring when the cherry blossoms could be seen directly across the street. It had a warm and inviting atmosphere: the walls were a cool, very light blue and the tablecloths, the curtains and the napkins were all warm colors in shades of yellow, red and brown. The furniture was made of lacquered wood and the décor were all tasteful French and Japanese art pieces (handpicked paintings, prints, pottery – Mikoshiba apparently had very good taste).

The restaurant had gone through a lot from when it was just an old, abandoned warehouse and Mikoshiba knew exactly which direction he'd be taking it. Makoto admired his tenacity and determination and was happy to find out where this was going to take him in his career as a chef. The only concern was the redhead didn't know how to pace himself when he gets excited about a new idea. Blaze was doing very well, but it still had a long way to go.

Makoto did not envy Nitori his job as the restaurant's accountant (and financial adviser) and admired his patience and resolve. He was very adept in curbing his former captain's recklessness.

"I guess," Mikoshiba said thoughtfully, almost reluctantly, before he beamed at Makoto proudly. "I know we'll get them in the menu someday and Blaze will be recognized all over the world."

Makoto smiled encouragingly. "I'm sure of it."

They paused for a bit as the new dishwasher came in with the newly cleaned plates stacked high over his head, watching in morbid fascination as the teen (a part-time working student) concentrated on putting them on one of the tables. This was a rite of passage for all new employees, something even Makoto did when he got the job as executive chef and he could only speculate what it was for. Even now, Mikoshiba refused to say what he was thinking when he thought of it.

The rest of the staff made sure the path was clear and stayed out of his way but didn't bother to offer help. Chances were, they would spook the kid and cause more damage (like the incident of last year that no one wanted to talk about). The group tensed and even Makoto held his breath as the stack swiveled precariously to one side and everyone sighed in relief simultaneously as soon as he managed to put them on the table without any casualties. There were cheers and laughter, playful slaps on the back as they congratulated him.

The boy was beaming, blushing to his ears as Mikoshiba ruffled his hair for a job well done and Makoto offered him a dessert (a small chocolate cake shaped into a ball that when opened, thick chocolate fudge would be gushing out, spreading to the whipped cream border on the plate) that he took with this awed look on his face, stammering a thank you before he was pushed around by the staff.

Once the ruckus had calmed enough, Mikoshiba broke the silence between them.

"Hey, any plans this weekend?" Mikoshiba asked with a sideways glance, a tiny smirk on his lips.

"The usual," Makoto answered wistfully with a sigh. He couldn't keep the longing in his voice and Mikoshiba chuckled.

"Good," he answered with a nod. "I'm gonna be dropping by for a swim."

With a wink, Mikoshiba strode over to his headwaiter, leaving Makoto shaking his head with a smile and a resigned sigh.

It was already late when Makoto got back home. The lights were mostly off except for the one by the front door and the living room and he was sure everyone was already asleep. He slipped his key in the knob and whispered quiet, "Tadaima!" before he slipped his shoes off, feeling the exhaustion bear down on his shoulders like it usually did now that he was home. He put his shoes away and made sure to lock the door before passing the kitchen, spotting the dinner left for him on the table but decided to put it in the fridge for tomorrow. As much as he loved and preferred his mother's home-cooked meals, he was just so tired that all he wanted was a quick shower and go to bed.

He went upstairs, careful not to make any noise. He went to the twins' rooms before heading to his own, peeking into Ren's room and finding him asleep and curled up on his side then Ran's, where she was sleeping with half her sheets on the floor, her arms and legs thrown about as she slept without a care in the world. He stifled a chuckle and went to his room to grab a change of clothes.

He showered quickly, dressed up in a loose shirt and pyjama pants then went to bed where he lied awake, staring at the ceiling, turning to his side and determinedly closed his eyes, willing himself to relax. There was only so much time left for him to get some sleep until the twins decide to jump on him to get him to wake up. Even at seventeen years old, they still acted the spoiled younger siblings Makoto loved to dote on, having him wrapped around their pinky fingers since the day they were born.

With a sigh and a small smile, he felt sleep claim him and his last thought was how this weekend promised to be a good one. He could just feel it.

"Nii-chan, wake up! Hurry!"

"Mou, nii-chan! It's already late and you have surprise guests!"

Makoto was just about to wake up, hearing the distant voices pulling him from sleep, when the force of two heavy seventeen-year-olds jumped on his back, waking him up quickly. He looked over his shoulder where both Ren and Ran were sitting on him, smiles overly bright at – he peeked at his alarm clock and groaned into his pillow – eight o'clock in the morning. On a Saturday.

As someone who worked until the late hours of the night, Makoto was quickly learning to despise morning people (despite being one in the past) but he couldn't bring himself to scold his younger siblings.

"Ohayou, Ren, Ran," he greeted them with a smile, eyes half-lidded.

"Nii-chan, get up! You won't believe who's here!" Ran urged, pulling at his sleeve.

"Is it Ula?"

"Nope!" Ren chirped.

"Is Nagisa back from Africa already?"

Ran snorted. "Nagisa-san won't be back until next week, Nii-chan!"

"Just get up already so you'll see!" Ren insisted.

Makoto chuckled. "I would but you're both still sitting on me."

The twins scrambled off of him and left him after a sworn oath that he would be downstairs in five minutes or they were going to drag him down themselves. It was really hard to imagine the two as teenagers when they insisted on acting as if they were still eight years old.

He didn't change clothes, didn't really see the point when he wasn't dressed indecently but he did wash his face and brush his teeth before going downstairs.

He could hear his mother's excited chatter, his father asking a question or two between his mother's gushing. Their guests' voices, familiar and greatly missed, did make him stop dead in the hall, frozen for all of three seconds as he let them wash over him, his heart pounding in excitement and forgetting the sadness of being separated for so long.

He took one trembling step after another, afraid that he was just hallucinating but the moment he was in the living room, he could see that they were real.

"Haru? Rin?"

**meru meru meru Page Break meru meru meru**

**Author's Note:** Questions, comments and the like are greatly appreciated. :)


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